The Inner Wild Child!!

I believe that everyone has an inner wild child. Growing up, I was not a wild child. As teenagers go, I was an angel really. Now that I am older, I have this little desire to do something kind of crazy. I will be finishing up my graduate program next summer and will be receiving a MBA. I would love to get a tattoo to mark the accomplishment. I have began to design it in my head. My design is going to be a celtic knot in the shape of a heart (to symbolize eternal love) and in the middle of the knot would be the yin-yang symbol (to symbolize my kids). We have always called my kids yin and yang because they are complete opposites but at the same time complete compliments to each other.

The closer I get to graduation to more excited I get about getting the tattoo. I haven't told anyone yet, not even my husband! I think I am finally ready to let my wild child out! Who knows, I may even like it!!

:)

Friends...

I have always had an extremely hard time getting to know new people and making friends. I have always been really shy. Why is it so hard for some people to make friends? It sometimes takes weeks or months to get to know someone and open myself up to them. I don't have many friends because of this! I am having a hard time meeting new people here in OR. I am started to get to know one of my son's friend's mother, but of course, she works and I stay at home. I am finding that I am so busy at home that I can't even get out of the house, and even if I do get out, I have no idea where to go to meet new people with whom I would have any common interests. I don't know the area that well yet, so knowing where to go is difficult. I thought about joining the PTA at my kids' school, but PTA only meets like once a month. This is not the first time that my fears of meeting new people have hurt my life. Prior to moving to OR, a person at my husband's work thought that I hated him because I never talked to him when I went to their workplace. When my husband told me this, I started asking myself if other people think that too. I try not to present myself as closed off and unapproachable, but...do I do that?? I have found that I sometimes have to force myself to be outgoing. I can remember as a child hiding from family members if I did not know them! Like I said, I have always been shy. How does one come out of his or her shell, stop being so shy, and start being more outgoing?

Too Much Time On My Hands?

I am in a whole new world right now! My family and I just recently moved from Montana to Oregon. This move was pretty hard on us all because our whole family and all our friends are in Montana. My kids took it pretty hard to say the least. We have tried to make things easier on them by exploring the area and spending lots of time together as a family. I have to say that we are much closer now than we were in Montana, but it was not easy at all.

For the first time ever, I do not have a job outside my house! I gave up a job that I was pretty good at and liked for my husband's career. Do I miss it? Sure, at times I do. I really miss the people I worked with and have stayed in touch with a few of them. I miss feeling the sense of accomplishment that I felt when I finished a task. I had been with my employer for 16 years! I am still on leave, but I just don't see myself going back (at least not to that employer). It just got to a point where I was terrified of trying anything new because where I was at in my life was so safe! Looking back on it now, I really think that I was in a rut! Now that I am out of my 'safety zone', I am happier as much as it scares me! I fight the fears every single day!! It is pretty scary going from the safety of two incomes down to one! I have a friend that has said that staying at home will not keep me satisfied. She thinks that I will get bored. I keep asking myself "Will I get bored? Am I suppose to get a job now or what?"

For the longest time, I have enjoyed drawing. My best friend introduced watercoloring to me a little over a year ago. She showed me a few techniques and encouraged me to try it. She must know me better than I know myself because I absolutely loved it!!!! It made me want to do it again and again and get better and better at it so that I could maybe even sell a painting or two. Now, my paintings are nowhere near the level as my best friend's, but I enjoy painting them a lot. Now that I have all this time on my hands for art and drawing, I have a really don't want to ever go back to work. Does this make me lazy or dedicated?

I think for the time being I will enjoy my family and enjoy my extra "free" time.