One Day at a Time

I realized today that it has been a little over three months since I have been home. Now, that may not seem like a very long time, but three months is the most time that I have gone without being able to go home. I have no idea when we will be able to get back home for a visit, so I am going to take everything one day at a time. I have had cousins move away and live in other states, but I have no idea how they do it. My closest friends are and have always been my family members. The only thing that I can think to do is take everything one day at a time.

I hate knowing how much I am missing at home. I really miss all the little things like going to my nephew's and niece's sporting events, playing games with my bro and sis-in-law, and just chilling at my mom and dad's house. I don't think that we will ever live in Billings again, but I hope that we get closer one day so that I can visit more often (and they can visit me).

I know to get through any feelings of homesickness that I will have to take it one day at a time.

How Are Your Resolutions Coming So Far?

One month into the new year, and my resolutions are going good. I had three resolutions this year. (1) Write more poetry (2) Draw more (3) Join a gym, work out, lose weight, and get in shape

My first resolution to write more poetry is going better than I hoped. My goal was to write one poem a month. I wrote two poems in January. I also began attending my good friend's writing workshop every Friday night. I love the workshop and am finding my poetic voice again. It feels so good to feel inspiration again. I have not been inspired in a long time, so long actually that I thought I would never feel inspired again.

My second resolution to draw more is going pretty well. I am working on a drawing for my father-in-law. It is a difficult drawing. This drawing is difficult for me because it is a type of drawing that I have never done before. I will not give up on it and will keep working on it. I just hope that it turns out. I am also working on my portrait drawing. I am working on the mouth. It is going okay so far.

My third resolution to join a gym, work out, lose weight, and get in shape is going so well! I have lost about 6 pounds since beginning on the 9th of January. I have joined the gym. I try to do some exercise every day. I do cardio and weights 4 times a week. I do just cardio the other 3 days. I am on my way to my goal.

So, how are your resolutions going for you? Are you sticking to them?
I hope you are doing as well with your resolutions as I am.

Decide to Have A Good Day Today

I believe that if you decide to have a good day then you will have a good day. Let the little things that usually get under your skin slide off your back. Remember to smile, no matter what! Laugh often throughout your day. Before you know it, you will be on your way to a good day.

After the week I had last week, I decided this morning that I am going to have a good week. My husband has to work all week, so I will only see him at night. Even through this little annoyance, I will have a good week.

Today will be a good day! I hope your day is good too!

Sweet Dreams

I wrote this poem with my children in mind. They are the light of my life. I love them more than words can say. I hope you like it!

Sweet Dreams

Lay down your head

Go on to bed

Sweet dreams await

So don't be late

Lay down close your eyes

No tears or cries

Take your blanket and bear

To know I care

Lay down and sleep

The snow is deep

No school today

No time to play

Lay down and dream

Of strawberries and cream

Float of the waves

Or explore in the caves

Lay down little one

'Til you see the sun

Sweet dreams for you

'Til the night is through

© 2007 J.S.

What a Week!

I have had a cruddy week this week. Let me re-cap my week.

First, my computer has been down until today! I have been going through major blogging withdrawals. Not having access to my computer has been so difficult. No Email, No Blogging!

Second, we had a mouse in the house! I am completely freaking out! I hate mice!! (First we had black widow spiders and now mice!) I want to click my heels and magically return home!!!! My son caught the first one. He is my little hero! He just informed me that he saw another mouse!! OK, I give up!!! I may have to check into a hotel! I knew that I would not luck out and have just one dang mouse in the house! My husband thinks I am nuts and made fun of me mercilessly last night! He started to snipe at me too, which made me feel about 2 inches tall! I did not even get one hour's worth of sleep last night and will now not get any tonight!!! Oh well...I slept last week!

Finally, my son came home early from school sick. Poor baby! He is feeling better, but he will be spending the day at home tomorrow just to make sure he is better.

Calgon take me away!...Darn it didn't work, I am still here...Well, I had to try!

Tough Times

Every relationship goes through good and bad times, easy and tough times. My marriage has been through it all. For the longest time, I thought that the only thing I wanted (or needed) to be happy was to be a stay-at-home mom. Well, I have that and am happy for the most part, but I thought that my stress would go away if I were at home every day. I have sacrificed some things for this new happiness of mine and often think that my husband does not appreciate exactly how much I did sacrifice. I left a company that I had been with for 16 and a half years for my husband, this marriage, and his career.

I now sometimes feel like my husband and I have taken 10 steps backwards financially. I feel like all the hard work that we have both done over the past several years is going down the drain because I am no longer working. All too often, I feel like packing up my kids and moving back to Montana without my husband. When I start to feel this way, I know that I have to take a step back and refocus at least some of my energy on my marriage. I know that my kids are happier when my marriage is happier, so I know that I have to put my marriage first. Of course, my kids are important to me, but my marriage is also important to me. I have to show "my marriage" how important it is to me (just as I have to show my kids how important they are to me), thereby showing my husband exactly what he means to me and how much I love him.

For a long time, I lived in my marriage waiting for him to leave me waiting for him to hurt me like everyone else had hurt me. I think that because every other guy I seriously dated had left me and hurt me, I went through a large portion of my marriage waiting for the other shoe to drop. Those feelings are my insecurities, and they show themselves every time I feel like leaving my husband. Well, I am don't want to wait for the other shoe to drop any more. I want to fight for my marriage.

Marriage is hard work. It has to be nurtured and loved or else it will die and fade away.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!!!

Today it is snowing, and I feel like I am back in Montana. I LOVE IT!! I did not realize how much I missed the snow until it snowed here. The only difference is that everything shuts down when it snows here. I mean everything. The mall closed early. Some schools closed early, and many businesses closed early today. All because of a little snow.

Don't get me wrong. I do not like driving in this mess, but I at least know how to drive in it. (unlike all the drivers I saw out on the roads today) I also don't want snow like this everyday, or the cold below zero temperatures that we would get in Montana.

To get snow every now and then for a short period of time really goes a long way to cure my home sickness. It looks like a Winter Wonderland outside. It is all frosty and white. I just love it! It is beautiful!!! So for today...I say, "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!"

The Job Hunt

We have been in Oregon now for just over 6 months. I have decided that in order to give us a little more financial wiggle room that I need to find a part time job. I have applied for more than a half dozen jobs and have yet to even be called for an interview. I get at least one email per week from recruiters except that the emails are for either full time or sales positions. I can't do sales and don't want to work full time. My kids are doing better than they ever have in school because I am at home with them after school. We are closer as a family because I am at home, and I don't want to change any of this. As for sales, I have never been good at sales. I would never be able to do sales well.

I would LOVE to find something that I can do from the house. I would even be willing to take on a full time job if I could telecommute from home. I would even take a part time job outside of the house, but I can't work weekends (because B works every weekend, and we would have no child care).

I have thought about trying to start my own business from the house. The problem with starting your own business is the marketing costs, specifically the cost of a classified ad. In my area, a classified ad running for 30 days costs $175.00. We just can't afford that kind of expense. There would be no point in running the ad for a fewer amount of days. I am making a flyer today to put up at my gym, who knows maybe I can drum up a client or two that way.

I am trying to stay positive, but it is getting harder and harder.

Set Small Goals

I have found that if you set small goals for yourself you will feel a greater sense of accomplishment. I have done this not only in my everyday activities, but I have also done this with my three New Year's resolutions.

In my everyday activities, I set small goals throughout the day. Most days, I end up going above and beyond my goals which gives me an even greater sense of accomplishment. Yesterday, I did everything on my list. I accomplished so much, and I felt great at the end of the day. I felt like I really got a lot done. I worked out in the morning. I got my kids up, fed, ready, and off to school. I answered a dozen emails and blogged. I vacuumed, dusted, and picked up my living room, bedroom, and dining room. I made dinner and helped my daughter with her homework. I played with my son. We watched a great movie together. Finally, I made sure they showered and got them in bed on time. It was a full day, but I felt a sense of accomplishment that I don't always get to feel as a stay-at-home mom.

With my three New Year's resolutions, I have set small goals for myself so that I don't get frustrated and give up on my resolutions. I have a goal of one poem per month. If I write more than one poem in a month great!, but I would be happy with just one a month. I have set a goal to draw two or three times a week. I would love to draw or paint more than two or three times a week, but I don't want to be disappointed. As for my final resolution/deal, I have set the goal to work out four or five times a week. I started Monday and have worked out every single day since I started! I am more than happy with this accomplishment. I am over the moon! I plan on working out two more days this week which is not only great for my body but is also great for my soul!

If you start out with small goals, you will not only have a greater sense of accomplishment, but you will also find it easier to reach your bigger goals.

What would you give up?

I saw this report on one of the morning shows this morning, and it started me thinking about what I would (or could) give up. In the report, a couple was asked to give up using their cell phones for one week. I thought to myself, "Ok, 7 days, how hard could that be?" This couple was completely addicted to their cell phones. They racked up over 4000 minutes per month. That number is huge! This couple goes so far as to call each other from different rooms in their house! (Now, that is a little extreme) I don't even use 4000 minutes in 4 months let alone in 1.

I pose this question to all two or three of you who read my blog. What would you give up for one week? And, could you do it without cheating? It would have to be something to which you are addicted like blogging or emails. I would be willing to try giving up the use of my computer for a week, but I have a feeling I would cheat! For me, I will admit that I am completely addicted to my computer. I go online multiple times a day to blog or to check emails. Giving up the use of my computer for a week would be cutting me off from the world outside my house! That statement is extreme and is not completely true, but... all you bloggaholics out there know exactly what I am talking about.

I can sympathize with the couple from the report because I know how hard it was for them. I know I would probably cheat at least once, and yes, the couple both cheated at least once during the week they gave up their cell phones. There should be a 12-step program for these addictions. OH WAIT! There is...we have bloggaholics anonymous, don't we! Oh, that makes me feel so much better, and I think maybe I could give up emails and blogging for a week after all. Oh no! I just remembered that we meet online.

I would be willing to try to give up my computer usage for a week, but I would also admit that if the computer were left in my house I would more than likely cheat.

How about you? What would you try to give up for a week? Could you do it without cheating?

You asked for it...

Beginnings and Endings

Beginnings can never be without endings.
They are new and wondrous.
They are exciting and scary at the same time.
Beginnings are like that new pair of shoes not yet broken in.
They are change which can be hard.
Beginnings are anything but sublime.

Endings can never be without beginnings.
They are many and inevitable.
They are sad and scary at the same time.
Endings are like those old pair of jeans broken in just right.
They are change which can be hard.
Endings are anything but sublime.

To begin is to end. To end is to begin.

A New Year and A New Poem

This year is off to a great start! I have written a poem (the first in a long time). I am not sure why I stopped writing. I guess I just wasn't inspired. For me, the best poems are the ones that flow out and onto the paper like water flowing out of a faucet. I don't feel that this poem is one of my best poems, but at least I am writing again. I will share the poem soon after I have put the final stamp of approval on it.

All In The Family

My 11 year old painted her first picture. She got a paint-by-number picture of dolphins (her favorite animal) for Christmas from her Grandparents. She did an outstanding job, although I may be a little biased. I had so much fun watching her paint. She even inspired me to work on my first oil painting. We sat working on our paintings together while watching a chick flick. We really had a blast. Painting with C is one of my favorite things to do in the world.



C, I want you to know that I can't wait to do this with you again! You did a super job! Keep up the good work!!!

Love you! (Up to the Stars and Back!)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Now is the time to start fresh and to make all those resolutions!

B and I made a deal last night. Rather than making a resolution that I will never keep, I made a deal with my hubby. (or rather he made the deal with me) He said that he would quit chewing (Coppenhagen) if I started working out with our neighbor, D. We went to their house last night for a New Years party which was too much fun. We ended up at another neighbors house just after midnight for a couple of drinks. D was trying to talk me into joining her all female gym and work out with her 3 or 4 times a week in the mornings. B knows that I really want to lose weight, so he said that he would quit chewing if I agreed to work out with D. This will be tough for him! He has been chewing most of his life. I absolutely hate it! I want him to be around in 20 years to see our kids get married and play with our grandkids. If he keeps chewing, he won't be. I was more than happy to make the deal with him. We will find a way to pay for the gym membership, somehow. Having someone to work out with and help motivate me will definitely help me lose the weight that I need to lose.

What do I get out of this deal?? I get a husband to grow old with. I get to feel good about myself for the first time since before my kids were born. I get to feel like a sexy woman again. I get to fit into my skinny clothes for the first time since before I had kids. AND, I get to teach my kids about how to live a healthy life!